When you decide you want to start a family, you can’t help but visualize how your lives will change. You start to think about what traditions you want to continue and create. You think about the little love rituals that you will incorporate into your lives. And, inevitably, you think about all the things you won’t do. You know what I am talking about. You watch your friends and family with their children and you think to yourself, “I’ll never do that with my child…” We hate to admit it, but Stuart and I did a lot of that while preparing for little Jackson’s arrival. What we have come to discover is that life is much easier to plan when it is theoretical. Once reality hits, all bets are off. (You would think he would have been better prepared for this fact, since he does have first hand experience in this arena, but no, he was right there with me, foolishly making declarations.) Anyway, I thought I would share a list of some of the issues we have already backed down on when it comes to Jack.
I'll never...
- let our child sleep in our room past 1 month. This one came about when a dear friend stated she was not putting a nursery together for her new child because she and her husband anticipated the crib being in their room for the first 3 months. Stuart and I laughed at how foolish that decision was! We said Jack would definitely be sleeping in his own room much earlier. HA. Jack not only slept in our room, but he slept in our bed until he was 8 months old! And don't think this was all about the overprotective mom in me. I was ready to move him at about 6 months, but Stuart said "no." He said he was too little to be on his own that soon. (It was kinda sweet, but it wasn't him that had a sore back until the day we moved him.)
- bribe my child with candy. Suckers are now a staple in my diaper bag, solely for this purpose.
- fix my child special meals. He'll eat what we eat, or not at all. That worked great until Jack was about 20 months old. He ate whatever we were having, no arguments. Not anymore. He is picky, and quiet honestly, we want him to sleep well at night and a full belly helps insure that happens.
- buy my child a toy to keep him quiet in a store. Yeah, that one is gone too. It's hard when they are young and the toys are cheap. For a dollar I can keep him quiet while I finish shopping. Yeah, that's worth it every time.
I don't apologize for any of these. We do the best we can and try to stick with the ones that are really important. Besides, Jack is a happy little boy. And, we are happy. In the end that is what really matters. Besides, I'm certain there are more failed resolutions in our future. And you know what, I am learning to care less about it.
What resolutions have you compromised in raising your children?
3 comments:
Amen! I am with you on this, I have a small list of my own of things that "I would never", and then I realized that you can't judge how a parent does things until you have been there.
The list for me is endless. I quickly learned never to judge someone else's parenting (unless they are beating or screaming at their child). You have to figure out what works for your child and go with it. I know that my list has changed with each child too (because their personalities are so different). With Evan I thought I'd never let him have his binky past a year (he's 3 now and still has it) and he'd be potty trained by the time he was 3. Nope.
I loved the part when you said that Jack is happy and you are happy - you're right - that's what matters most.
The only thing I think you could possibly say "I'll never" to is "I'll never say 'no' to that cute face!"
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