Yesterday was a bad day. It involved screaming, tears, and even vomit. But before I can explain, I need to start with some background information about our little Jack. He is an extremely tough, but sensitive boy. He is rough and physical pain doesn't usually phase him. Bruises, cuts, scrapes, bumps, and falls don't often get a reaction from Jack. Hurt his feelings, however,and that is a different story. Tell him no or raise your voice and he cries like his heart is breaking. Let me give you an example. Jack doesn't like to leave anyone behind. If Stuart and I separate in a store, Jack cries for his dad, certain that we have left without him. It really is very sweet. Well, a couple of weeks ago, we decided to break from our normal bedtime routine and let Jack watch part of a movie we found on TV because it featured dogs. That was a big mistake. Here is video of Jack watching the movie. He was inconsolable. Note that the movie was not scary. He was upset because a momma dog was helping another dog find his way and left her puppies behind as she did this. He was so upset that she left the dogs. At this point, we couldn't turn the TV off because he needed to know everything was OK, but they never showed those damn puppies again. (Luckily we had just gotten the equipment to pause live TV, so we rewound the program until Jack saw the mom and puppies together again and then skipped the part of her leaving them. Sheesh!)
So, now that you understand little Jack, let me tell you about our day. I made plans to meet my friend Sarah at Chick-fil-A for lunch. Her daughter, Savannah, is about 5 months older than Jack. She is the only person with children I know who lives anywhere near me, so I was looking forward to the outing. Chick-fil-A has a great toddler play area that Jack has visited before and loved. It was a disaster. Most of the kids were around 3 years old and pretty bossy. Remember, Jack may be the same size, but he was younger than most of the kids he encountered. Some of them yelled no when anyone else tried to play on the equipment and each time, Jack burst into tears. It was so sad. When he didn't listen, he was pushed and pulled and that just upset him more. I swear he was the only kid there crying and screaming.
We stopped to eat lunch and Jack's face was all red and blotchy from crying. (Poor baby, he gets that from me and my heart just ached for him.) He seemed better and wanted to play again, but it only got worse. So, I decided it was time for us to go and I put his shoes back on him...some big rubber boots that he loved, but as soon as I got them on him, he immediately climbed up on the equipment to play one last time. Big Problem. His boots got stuck in the equipment and he was scared and crying. I tried to calmly talk to him while my wonderful girlfriend climbed into the maze to help him down. He got so upset, he threw up, which must have been terrifying, because he has never thrown up before this. While I calmed Jack, Sarah cleaned up the vomit (did I mention how awesome she is?!) Meanwhile, other moms came in very indignant and upset because Jack had puked and they now had to get their kids out of there. Needless to say I got some dirty looks as I was leaving.I calmed Jack and got him in the car and immediately broke down crying myself. I have never felt like such a bad mom in my life. I should know that Jack can't last long at places like these and I should have taken him out sooner. If I hadn't been eager for my own socialization, maybe we could have left before he threw up all over himself. I so want to protect him, but must be doing something wrong if he has so much trouble when he is around other kids. Have I done him a disservice by not having him socialize more? Maybe if I did he would have thicker skin around bossy kids. Anyway, I was pretty emotional the rest of the day. Let's just say I won't be going back to that Chick-Fil-A again.
Does anyone else have this problem? My doctor tells me his craziness is completely normal for a boy his age, but I don't see other parents struggling in public like I do...or have those parents just resigned themselves to stay home all the time? Am I doing something wrong?
2 comments:
Those other moms probably thought he had swine flu! You should have said, loudly, my child has been upset because your kids have been mean to him! He's only 2 - he has plenty of time to develop a thick skin! (If you want to go back to Chick-Fil-A, I'll go with you - I'll have your back!)
I really feel for you. I have been there SO many times. You're doctor is right - it's normal. Both Max and Evan went through phases where they were extremely sensitive. I would still take him places - maybe at times when it is less crowded? I always struggle in public with Evan. ALWAYS. I have learned to ignore the looks or comments or whatever (although in Evan's case he's the one doing the terrorizing). Because eventually Evan will behave.
I hope.
Post a Comment