Today sucked. Sorry, there is no nicer way to say that. As happy and eager as Jack was to leave the house and go to preschool, he got very shy when we got there. (It didn't help that his teacher was late and we spent the first 15 minutes in a different classroom.) He was clingy and kept telling me he didn't like preschool anymore and he wanted to leave. After 30 minutes, I said good-bye and walked away while his teacher kept him from running after me. He was crying so hard. I waited in the lobby for about 10 minutes, until the director assured me he had stopped crying, and was fine. I went home and cried, feeling awful. When I returned at the end of the day to pick him up, the director informed me he had hit someone. Great. Then, she said he cried for me several times throughout the day. Now, I'm feeling worse. She then told me he is quite the disruption in class. I could barely hold it together at that point. After that, it was just some additional information about how he kept taking his shoes off and could I please try running shoes instead of crocs...like I haven't tried that before, to no avail, and something about him continuing to think he could just leave the room whenever he wanted. She was nice about it, but I felt like crap. I tried to go and talk to his teacher for more details and maybe some suggestions, but she is a little standoffish so that didn't really make me feel any better.
I talked to Jack about it on the way home. When we got in the house, I looked at his papers and asked if he practiced writing his name...he said he didn't know how. I feel like I threw him into an environment that is too much for him. I still like the school, and the director, but when I got my job offer, he moved from a very active environment, to a CLASSROOM. He is now the youngest kid in his class...he's never been to preschool before...and even though he has gotten much better, he is still an
active boy. I don't want him to be miserable and I feel terrible right now. On top of it all, I have my first day of work tomorrow, so Stuart has to take him and pick him up. I hate it when he is hurting and just want to find a way to make it stop. Stuart wants me to give it 2 weeks before we make a change because I am too emotional to be rationale, but I can't help it. He's my baby! I've cried so much today, my eyes are going to be swollen for my first day at work tomorrow.
Stuart didn't want me to write about this yet because it is too raw and I am too stressed about my new job. But, I thought getting it out would help.
This pic is from a few days ago, Jack was playing doctor on himself. Notice the bandage on his ear, the modified stethoscope for breathing medicine and the foot brace. I love my creative boy. I just want him to be happy. I hope it gets better.
2 comments:
I have been there. When I first started working Evan wasn't in preschool - I had him going to my mom's some days, to Trina's and to Tricia's. Each time I left him he would throw a fit of massive proportions. I remember one time that I was crying so hard driving to work that I called in sick and went back and got him. It's so hard. But it gets better. Any time you are putting a child in a new environment it takes time. Right now Jack is probably testing the boundaries of where he's at to figure out what the "rules" are at his school. It's typical behavior but still hard. Stuart is right - give it time. I'm praying for you!
It's so hard to leave your little one, especially when he hasn't fully adjusted yet. I feel for you, and I will be praying for you too - and for Jack! It will get better.
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