Perfect

I knew from the time I was very young that I wanted to be a mother. Motherhood, however, wasn't something that came to me until later, so I had lots of time to think about it. I admit, I had visions of what parenthood would be like, what my child would be like. Pre-parenthood is a wonderful, blissful time when you can imagine perfection. Actual children, however, are seldom like we imagined. They are messy. They are stinky. They are loud. They are challenging. And, they are exhausting. I am certain God made the most challenging ones extra cute so we don't kill them. (And Jack is REALLY cute, so you know what that means...)

Despite all the work, it is worth it. And, fortunately for the sake of my sanity, I have a pretty relaxed attitude when it comes to children. Maybe it is because I was in my 30s when I had my son. Maybe it is because of the years I spent as a babysitter, a nanny, and a daycare worker. Maybe it was the elementary education courses I took in college. Maybe it was being the oldest of 6 children. I don't know. I do know that parenthood is way too competitive. Children are pushed to an extreme to excel. And, we all get sucked into the contest. Mothers brag because their kid can recite the alphabet first, are potty-trained the youngest, or are the most obedient. They push their kids to do sports, study, and act perfectly when they are so little.

It's really hard not to get drawn into the battle.

However, I believe very strongly that kids should be kids...not mini adults. Now, I'm not a overly lax parent who thinks children should be without boundaries or discipline, but I do try to keep my expectations realistic. I also try to remember that the best thing I can give my son is a childhood. Why do I need to rush him into anything? This is the one time where he can have fun and act a little crazy. (It's much less socially acceptable to do when you are 40 years old.)

I'm also blessed to have people in my life who are supportive of my attitude. And I know God sends them to me when I am feeling the most discouraged. At the risk of making this post into a novel, I will share a recent story. A couple of weeks ago, I took Jack to his Aunt Marcy's house to celebrate the baptism of his cousin Bremen. For a couple of days leading up to the party, I was feeling very frustrated...for silly reasons I won't get into. (As I said, it's easy to get sucked into a place where you let others make you feel like an inadequate parent, or worse, that your child is less that he should be.) Anyway, there were a group of boys running and playing in the backyard. I stood and watched them with my mom and my Aunt Cindy. My mom noticed some mud splattered on the fence in the backyard and asked what it was. I replied that Bremen is an 8 year old boy and I am certain he threw mud at the fence at one point or another. My aunt chimed in and said the question should be why there wasn't more mud, that was the real concern, Bremen is a typical boy after all. She then joked with me about the challenge of raising boys and how she often had family members make her feel like she shouldn't bring them to events because of their wild behavior.

I can't tell you how much she brightened my day. She helped me remember that my son is perfect the way he is and if anyone thinks he is too much to handle, then they don't have to see him...and that is definitely their loss. Because, Jack is awesome...and I wouldn't trade him for another kid...ever. God gave me the kid that is right for me. He runs and plays and laughs and I love everything about his personality.